Lover Of Linguistic Puzzles Gifts

Man asking prostitute 'how much for a game of scrabble.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

The Oxford Comma Coin

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"He's a fine talker, but can you understand Portuguese?"

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

Artichoking victim

Barbed Pen

Heart To Heart

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

"Is it ne'er do wells, or ne'ers do well?"

Overly wordy travel.

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'