Playful Linguist Gifts

Artichoking victim

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Heart To Heart

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I stand corrected."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"I said to get a Tomcat, not a wombat!"

A child as a pet substitute.

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"I've been window-shopping..."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"The doctor will she you now."

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"You think you're pretty holy, huh!"

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'Doctor, my speech bubble has slipped!'

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

Simultaneous translation.

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

'Today I learned a little grammar in the classroom and LOTS of vocabulary on the playground!'

"Spell "orange." "The fruit or the colour, Miss?"

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

'All my life, I've been hearing about this 'pound of cure.' How much does it cost by the pound?'

'We don't seem to be doing well in the foreign beverage market. However, due to a mistranslation of our slogan we've become the leading international provider of embalming fluid.'

"Oh, yes, 'Aloha' also means 'you're fired.'"

'I take after my Daddy - He's a confirmed batchelor!'