Playful Linguist Gifts

Artichoking victim

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Heart To Heart

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I stand corrected."

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"I said to get a Tomcat, not a wombat!"

A child as a pet substitute.

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"I've been window-shopping..."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"The doctor will she you now."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"You think you're pretty holy, huh!"

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

'Doctor, my speech bubble has slipped!'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

Simultaneous translation.

"Standard equipment includes the Manual Anti-Collision Sonic Warning System...otherwise known as the horn."

"Spell "orange." "The fruit or the colour, Miss?"

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

'Today I learned a little grammar in the classroom and LOTS of vocabulary on the playground!'

'All my life, I've been hearing about this 'pound of cure.' How much does it cost by the pound?'

'We don't seem to be doing well in the foreign beverage market. However, due to a mistranslation of our slogan we've become the leading international provider of embalming fluid.'

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

'Mail' and 'Femail' mailbags.