Playful Grammarians Gifts

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

I will study my speling words...

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Someone who knows apostrophes

Cat Towels

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Lessons in Prehistory.

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Nuts to you, too."

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"I stand corrected."

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"I've just invented the question mark."

Sometimes Y Turn

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Ironing Punctuation

A child as a pet substitute.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.