Language Puzzler Gifts

"What the heck does 'gnark gort' mean? Maybe I should come back when you learn speech."

'The problem with working with pirates is understanding them: They talk really strangely...'

Packaging Russian Dolls

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

"It's quite bad news so I've turned it into an anagram!"

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Problem Solver Wanted

Hopkin's for Clinic the Dyslexic

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I don't want them overexcited,so we don't say T-R-E-A-T around Buddy or B-E-E-R around Bob."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'I just want to know why you think that I didn't know that you knew that I didn't know what you meant? Hmmmmm?

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

Secateurs and non-secateurs

'You can't go outside.'

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

'Grumphie and frijol yields an unpleasant aubade.'

"My French is OK but you should really see my Reportese..."

"Sudoku for Dummies"

Mange tout or man get out

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

Museum Displays a Brain as a Critical Thinking Machine.