Language Puzzler Prints

"What the heck does 'gnark gort' mean? Maybe I should come back when you learn speech."

'The problem with working with pirates is understanding them: They talk really strangely...'

Packaging Russian Dolls

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

"It's quite bad news so I've turned it into an anagram!"

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

Hopkin's for Clinic the Dyslexic

Problem Solver Wanted

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I don't want them overexcited,so we don't say T-R-E-A-T around Buddy or B-E-E-R around Bob."

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

'I just want to know why you think that I didn't know that you knew that I didn't know what you meant? Hmmmmm?

"I'm sorry – you have the wrong language."

"I appreciate you keeping up with the vernacular of the times, but please refrain from referring to the billion-dollar restructuring as 'The Dealio'."

Secateurs and non-secateurs

Protection Plan for Ancient Stones - 'Why don't they just make them stop touring?'

'Grumphie and frijol yields an unpleasant aubade.'

"Sudoku for Dummies"

"My French is OK but you should really see my Reportese..."

Mange tout or man get out

'Can you recommend something pronounceable?'

The correct expression is "May I approach the bench?" , not "May I approach the barn?"

Museum Displays a Brain as a Critical Thinking Machine.

'You can't go outside.'

Football anagrams(Did vain goal.). Answer: David Ginola.