Language Puzzle Fan Gifts

'Are you choking or are you serious?'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"I stand corrected."

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

Danth battle?

"That's not what I meant by changing gear, Mrs.Robinson!"

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

'Kindly explain to His Majesty that I didn't mean 'nincompoop' in the pejorative sense.'

Correct Spelling Lane.

'She's got a speech impediment.'

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

"What the heck does 'gnark gort' mean? Maybe I should come back when you learn speech."

'The problem with working with pirates is understanding them: They talk really strangely...'

I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University. Seriously? Nobody's going to go to a psychologist who's got a diploma from some random online college. And psychologists have to have a whole arsenal of treatments. They can't just use reverse psychology for everything. So what you're reverse-saying is, I'll be sought-after and highly effective. No that's ... ok, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Things we rarely hear: Bow...er...wow...er..um...woof/like tweet, I mean, y'know, tweet/whatchamacallit moo...

"And look sir - here's another interesting derivative of that phrase..."

Palindromedary.

'Think about it: If you eat me now, you won't get an egg every day...'

"Can you recommend a good exercise program?"

'I just want to know why you think that I didn't know that you knew that I didn't know what you meant? Hmmmmm?

'You mean to ssssay we have sssspeach imedimentssss?'

Tom Bowler

"Well, if everybody does it, it must be o.k."

"He's on your 'personal computer'. . . his name is Norman and he's really good at mental arithmetic."

Inn and Outt.

Geographic Oddities. It defies logic, but Little Rock is a bigger city than Boulder.

Wordplay: False Alarm - 'Only Kidding!'

Chicken and egg in a waiting room: 'Who was first?'

'According to the surveys nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot...'

A Yankee in Dixie: 'What in blue blazes is a 'tunerfish' sam' wich?'

"Waiter, was my salmon wild?"