Lingerie Shop Assistant Gifts

"Excuse me, have you got this in giant clam?"

"Madam is joking - of course?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"This is daring, but I like it."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"Underweird bras."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

"Actually it's darling and I'm sure it would fit perfectly. It's just that I'm not a woman."

Penguin suit fitting.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

How would Madam like to pay?

"Wrap it in any old bit of newspaper - she's bound to return it."

Ze-Bras

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

We stock ALL sizes...

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I know the marketing budget is stretched ... but I still think we need professional models.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

'Hello ground control? We're about to test Superstring theory!'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"I've got this amazing new bra."

"For the missus or yourself?"

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"