Lighthearted Lutheran Gifts

"I haven't confirmed it personally, but I hear the Lutherans have the best coffee."

Push for Disco...

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

Going Down?

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"I guess what I miss most is being drunk."

Jesus the comedian.

Wheels for all purposes.

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you how long it's been since he had a bowel movement."

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

'When you get closed down I'd be willing to take any dirty books off your hands.'

'Are you on HRT?'

"Call me!"

Ratted!

"So Jesus, do you prefer Methodist or Lutheran?"

"I'm sorry, but I've forgotten your name."

"This personal lubricant has an expiration date of 2025 - just saying."

What started off as a quiet bath for Stanley suddenly turned awkward...

Dancing Bobby