Lighthearted Reader Gifts

A computer will go to sleep if it isn't being used. YOu don't need to read it a bedtime story.

'When you get closed down I'd be willing to take any dirty books off your hands.'

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Laughing Zone Ahead

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"Life after death"

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

Shall I be mother?

A Dragon has a picnic with a Maiden.

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

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'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

Frankly, I'm not as interested in resisting temptation as I am in finding it!

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

The Invention of the Tea Light

'Good news, folks - no attack today!'

Giving thanks.

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'

"You just had to ask him how he was doing, didn't you?"

Spiro & Pusho go hunting.

'My husband's lost his sex drive.'

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

Police Lineup

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

Flo's Christmas Lights: 'I really like what you've done with yawr Christmas lights this yeaw Flo.'

'Yeah, you're probably right: She's not worth fighting over... Wanna do Heads or Tails?'

Mind lost by a mother.

"Could you supersize these grades, Ms. Bain?"

"Dinner's almost ready, you better not have eaten anything on the way home!"

Bumper Car Police Chase.

A credit to his species...