Light House Keeper Gifts

'Job losses' map with one loss at a light house

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I didn't spark joy."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Michael Jackson

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

Mother's Love

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Cook and her Maids

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Bathroom Fairy

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Lighthouse Hammock.

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

TV and cleaner

"And you guarantee it's free if it isn't delivered within thirty minutes?"

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Clearing the castle's moat.

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Look at the state of this place! Don't you ever use that thing to sweep up?!"