Light House Keeper Gifts

'Job losses' map with one loss at a light house

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"I didn't spark joy."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

Mother's Love

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Bathroom Fairy

Cook and her Maids

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

Lighthouse Hammock.

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

"And you guarantee it's free if it isn't delivered within thirty minutes?"

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

TV and cleaner

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

Clearing the castle's moat.

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

"Look at the state of this place! Don't you ever use that thing to sweep up?!"

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."