Life's Absurdity Explorer Gifts

"I'm thinking of going back to work now I've had kids beat me up"

"I need to tinkle."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Crab with a clown face.

"Now you can send it."

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

Imagine

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

Operation.

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

Trapeze artists commuting

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'The Human Comedy needs a laugh track.'

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

'Pardon me. Can you tell me where 9 West 57th is?'

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

No crawling sign in the desert.

Man in a desert looks up to see a sand timer sprinkling sand below.

"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."

"Somewhere there's probably a very funny caption for all this!"

Unusual Retirement Plans

'Oh dear.'

"I want to see other hallucinations."

The shopping trolley up Everest.

Three Pointless Things To Do This Week: Dig a Tunnel/Say Hello To Your Breakfast/Take a Tube to Clapham Common.