Absurdity Adventurer Gifts

Imagine

'The nightmare you had - it wasn't.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Tourists and their Pets.

Crab with a clown face.

Man fishing with large bait

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Bigfoot"

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

A private jet takes off

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Valet park only"

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

Shoot For The Moon

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"I like fountains very much!"

'Passengers were on their way to a clown convention. We've 7 fatalities and 174 in hospital.'

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

Destiny is all...

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."