Library Regular Gifts

Large Print Books

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Big Bang Theory.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

The Bookworm

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Meet the scribe"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"