Library Regular T-Shirts

Large Print Books

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Big Bang Theory.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

The Bookworm

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"Meet the scribe"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."