Letter Writing Fan Gifts

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

'Do you sell very long envelopes? I want to write to my friend in Llanfairpwllgwyngllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I'm 66 years old: and I going to be as crabby as you? - Rolf. *Actual reader letter. Rolf, this is really a sad, unfortunate letter. It seems unlikely you can ever achieve any reasonable level of crabby if you're the kind of loser to send such a whiny question. Great crabs are born, not made! Guy probably won't even make a decent curmudgeon. Not sure that's what he's hoping for.

Countess with a letter

Santa Claus's Mail

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'I think we're closing in on the missing calligrapher.'

Santa called but you were out!

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

"How many letters can you read?"

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"I won the spelling bee because Eddie Scott invented three letters."

The Colonel reading Clive's letters to the ladies of the regiment.

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. The alphabet invention is great. We should copyright it!

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."

Literary rain

I ONIC. F. E. That group will be very different depending upon whether a "C" or "R" joins them in that second spot.

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"They published my letter about recycling newspapers."

'Remember that Op-Ed piece you wrote last month?...'

'Then in the next round, I said to Carol, vowel, consonant, vowel, consonant...'

"Take a letter, any letter"

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"

"Dear Grandma, Mom told me I should write you a letter cause you don’t have a computer or cel phone like regular people. Dad said, Old people like getting letters in the mail. All this is making me so sad. Thanks a lot Grandma! I miss you. ❤️ Sofi"