Leisure Gifts

The Weekend

"I'm walking the sloth. See you all in a week."

'I have a retirement plan... I'm going to get up every morning around 11am... hen make some cocktails... then, a nap...'

Fulfilment Centre.

How's my Driving?

"Why, you're right. Tonight isn't reading night, tonight is sex night."

"Wait a minute - I know there's something we've forgotten to worry about."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

The Male Biological Clock.

"On the other hand, my weekends are seven days long."

Retiring from the rat race

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

"I'm worried about John. He just can't seem to forget about the office and relax."

Rusty was a very smart dog.

'I'm sure I've forgotten to do something today. Let's see now...I've taken four coffee breaks, I did the crossword puzzle...I took a long lunch...'

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

'Sure, we have a long way to go but give us credit for knowing how to relax.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"You said we were going to age in place, and this is my place."

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

'Bored?'

Deadly Radon

"Oh, I'm happy enough - I just wish my life were more like Sting's."

'Give me a hand! There's a Monday on the other side of this door.'

A man with a shirt reading 'No Pain No Gain' runs past a man who is relaxing with a 'No Pain No Pain' shirt on.

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'

'The great thing about being a snail is that I always have a good excuse for being late...'

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

'I shot my age on that hole!'

'Someone said 'good morning,' so I thought I'd leave work for the day while I was ahead.'

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

'I'm loving it here, but Charles is feeling a bit out of context.'

Angel using his hal to play golf.