Legislative Wizard Gifts

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Traffic Management Strategic Group

"Name your sources."

'He will observe your text now...'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

Who Let the Dawg In?

'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

C Day Lewis.

The new US Embassy in London is conceived as a solar collector, with pillow like panels of high-tech plastic and photovoltaic cells....and emegency vertical takeoff capability,

"So your successful fantasy novels are based on your own experiences....can you elaborate on that?"

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and fast.'

'Too many exclamation points!!!!!!'

Nycole Turmel: I can call Jack anytime for advice!

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

'It's a simple rule of thumb -- if at first you don't succeed, blame the media!'

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

"This big eraser? It's for graphic novels."

The Keyboard

'Never put off what you can do today, there may be a law against it tomorrow.'

"Here they call it Congress, but I like to think of it as my muse."

Al Baldasaro