Legal Wizard Gifts

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and fast.'

'You have the write to remain silent...'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

If Disney was a software company

Man doing a search on a computer

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

Why do you need so many computers?

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Marmaduke! What did you do?!!?'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"