Legal Savvy Gifts

'Landmark book deal.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Bailiff."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Violent Crime Statistics

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

"They're class action figures."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Lady Justice.

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Beware of the Legislation

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

Baby's first words.

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

Two lawyers in a royal court

Attorney and killer bee.

"Our immigration lawyer is now living in Guatemala."

The Unknown Attorney: The First To Double His Billable Rate.

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Dumping The Death Penalty

'Slap me and I'll see you in court.'