Legal Awareness Gifts

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

Two men shaking hands while another man warns one man about it

Contortionist seeks housing.

National Everything Awareness Day

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Bailiff."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Prejudice/Empathy

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

Can't even hold signs well.

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"They're class action figures."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

Gullib-Os

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

CATCHY NAME

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

More Unequal Than Others

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'