Legal Aware Gifts

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Bailiff."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"They're class action figures."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'Slap me and I'll see you in court.'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Attorney and killer bee.

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

How Do You Take Your Evil?

Uh

'Well yes, we lost, but you asked me if I was a Legal Eagle, not if I was a good lawyer...'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

Attorney Punching Bag

Night Court

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

'Twenty years? -- is there anything I can do for extra credit?'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'Regretfully your honour- I had too much to drink at our Christmas party and have forgotten my briefs.'

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

"I bill four hundred dollars an hour and I don't believe you'd be comfortable paying anything less."

Everyone Could See the US Would Collapse

'Yeah, I shot the guy, but only because I was misled by my advisors.'