Legal Geek Gifts

Computer questionning a witness.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

Beware of the Legislation

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Impeachment Wave

Mice in the Commons

Counsel examining witness

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'Okay, where's Obama?'

Trump Indicted

Law Offices

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'I need someone to fill my shoes and be in them when the SEC come calling.'