Courtroom Wizard Gifts

"So... that's how lawyers get away with it."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

I love Lawyers

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Justice 4 Ron

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'