Courtroom Wizard Gifts

"So... that's how lawyers get away with it."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

I love Lawyers

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I object!" "Overruled!"

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

Justice 4 Ron

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'