Courtroom Warrior Gifts

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

Rebel MC vs. Rebel QC

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Barrister wearing boxing gloves and cricket pads

"As soon as I get the paperwork together I'll file an appeal. Sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day."

'Oh, no! They've got a Swiss-army defence lawyer!'

'Most people recognize the difference between right and wrong? Why wasn't I informed of this?'

"The bad news is that your case is 100% indefensible...we'd be delighted to represent you."

Black & Blue: Personal Injury Attorneys

Law firm door reading 'No pain no gain law firm'.

"If you're looking for an aggressive law firm, you've come to the right place! We fight tooth and nail for our clients!"

"Wow! Your wife certainly had a gun divorce lawyer."

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

Time is running out for Julian Assange.

Look at what your verdict is doing to my complexion!

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

Law Firm of Kellog and Keith: Never An Ambulance Chaser.

'You'll make lots of money and eat a little caca... that's what attorneys do.'

Damage Attorneys

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'Have you ever tried NOT being guilty?'

'Ideally we want you to find us someone with an excellent degree and at least 8 years experience litigation at a magic circle firm.'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Planet of the Lawyers

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit