Courtroom Champ Gifts

Man being offered various law related products in street by 'sales people'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

RBG, RGB, CMYK

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Criminal Stupidness

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'You'll make lots of money and eat a little caca... that's what attorneys do.'

Judge

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"