Courtroom Hero Gifts

'These emergency numbers are all for lawyers!'

'You're the best legal minds we have. Any problem wearing a t-shirt that says 'The A-Team'?'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'I'll tell you what worries me -- What if they name a special prosecutor, and HE starts naming special prosecutors?'

'This is my lawyer. Give me all your money or I'll sue.'

'When the going gets tough, the tough SUE.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

I love Lawyers

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Planet of the Lawyers

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"At least he's honest about it..."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'