Courtroom Combatant Gifts

'Hounds don't work. Release the lawyers.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Planet of the Lawyers

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Justice 4 Ron

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

Two lawyers in a royal court