Courtroom Combatant Gifts

'Hounds don't work. Release the lawyers.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Planet of the Lawyers

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Justice 4 Ron

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

Two lawyers in a royal court