Courtroom Brawler Gifts

Settling a legal difference.

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

I love Lawyers

'Court's in recess!'

"Now that's a win."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Planet of the Lawyers

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"We make crime pay."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

Justice 4 Ron

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Sue The Bastards

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"