Courtroom Chaos Enthusiast Gifts

'The jury will please refrain from tossing seat cushions and heckling counsel.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Objection!"

"I'm sorry, but more than that I just can't say."

Trial by Media

I love Lawyers

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"Bailiff."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Not guilty?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'