Courtroom Chaos Fan Gifts

Low Class Action Suit

"Not good, your honor. My client is supposed to be executed a week before that court date."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I love Lawyers

"We won!"

"Now that's a win."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Sue the Author 3PM

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"Bailiff."

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"We make crime pay."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

Yawning barristers in court

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'