Flirtatious Courtroom Warrior Gifts

Do you realize that the only thing separating us is this gavel? If you're not careful, it will be the thing connecting my hand to your skull.

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Bailiff."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Planet of the Lawyers

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

'You'll make lots of money and eat a little caca... that's what attorneys do.'

Time is running out for Julian Assange.

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

'First time I've seen a law degree with an expiration date.'

"My client has been convicted by the media, but I am confident that his conviction will be overturned on appeal by the three major networks and the 'Times.'"

'I've done some of my best work pro bono ... darn it?'

'Have you not noticed that our legal department is crawling with lawyers!'

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

'I would advise against suing the devil, his lawyers are really good.'

The Verdict Is Union Yes!

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'