Flirtatious Courtroom Goer Gifts

Some people call it "permission to approach the bench." I call it "first base."

"Bailiff."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

"No it's not. That's his defense lawyer."

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

"Case dismissed."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

'Your Honour, I think I've got something that will satisfy you and the jury.'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

Bankruptcy Attorneys: "If you ain't broke, we can fix it."

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

I know what you mean

"You have a pretty good case, Mr. Pitkin. How much justice can you afford?"

"Isn't it wonderful, Judge,we started out as co-defendants and ended up co-dependents!"

"It would have been a no-fault divorce if the judge wasn't happily married for 30 years!"

"Witness will refrain from devouring the prosecution!"

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

Do you realize that the only thing separating us is this gavel? If you're not careful, it will be the thing connecting my hand to your skull.

"Something tells me he won't show up in traffic court."

'You are the wind beneath my aquittal.'

"Basketball star, huh? Tell me, what makes you think you're above the law?"

"Bad news, good news, sweetheart - the court rejected your appeal, but the networks are fighting to option it."

'Hang 'em high is just an expression Judge!'

"We've found reasons to appeal. It appears you still have some money left"

"You'll probably get five years on the manslaughter charge, but the bankruptcy will be with you for ten years."

'I would like to call as my next witness my toupee, Your Honor,'

'Hounds don't work. Release the lawyers.'

A judge with his trousers around his ankles

"The jury was too distracted to concentrate, so I've found a more focused, enthusiastic bunch...12 Amazon reviewers."

"A last wish? Tell my defence lawyer he's not getting paid."