Courtroom Devotee Gifts

"You have a pretty good case, Mr. Pitkin. How much justice can you afford?"

"A last wish? Tell my defence lawyer he's not getting paid."

I love Lawyers

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Planet of the Lawyers

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'