Courtroom Devotees Gifts

Law Groupies

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Bailiff."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."