Courtroom Crusaders Gifts

The SCOTUS six

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

'Of course I'm an excellent lawyer. It says so right on my website.'

Conveyor belt takes solicitor along path to becoming a judge

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Planet of the Lawyers

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Justice 4 Ron

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"At least he's honest about it..."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."