Lawmaking Enthusiast Gifts

'These won't go over very well with the grass roots...'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"My farewell gift!"

Violent Crime Statistics

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."