Lawmaking Enthusiast Gifts

'These won't go over very well with the grass roots...'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"My farewell gift!"

Violent Crime Statistics

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

Lady Justice.

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

'A more conservative version of the gun bill would also require a background check for all voters.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."