Legislative Wizard T-Shirts

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

Traffic Management Strategic Group

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'He will observe your text now...'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

"So your successful fantasy novels are based on your own experiences....can you elaborate on that?"

The new US Embassy in London is conceived as a solar collector, with pillow like panels of high-tech plastic and photovoltaic cells....and emegency vertical takeoff capability,

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and fast.'

'Too many exclamation points!!!!!!'

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

'It's a simple rule of thumb -- if at first you don't succeed, blame the media!'

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

"This big eraser? It's for graphic novels."

Nycole Turmel: I can call Jack anytime for advice!

The Keyboard

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

'Never put off what you can do today, there may be a law against it tomorrow.'