Legalese Decipherers Gifts

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

Developing links within business.

'No Farnsworth, I'm not firing you. I'm enhancing your advancement opportunities.'

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

Translating Contractor to English

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

"What part of oil lamp next to double squiggle over ox don't you understand?"

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"The Company has drawn a line under me and moved on."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

Dr. Harper had a special eye exam chart made for hieroglyphics professor patient.

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Maze of legalities.

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

"Senior staff may have to be prepared to be flexible."

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Computer Speak: 'Beware!...There is no such thing as a 'free launch'.'

'We need to ask Blah! The PSB to get the PCT to Blah! Put another GPWSI in the MSK Black! Blah!'

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"It seems to be a grant application!"

"This letter is brief, clear and concise, do it again!"

"Blah blah-blah, duh blah diddily uumph...Read that back to me please, Stephanie."

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

With the aid of a technical dictionary Colin was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.