Legalese Decipherers T-Shirts

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

Developing links within business.

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

'No Farnsworth, I'm not firing you. I'm enhancing your advancement opportunities.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

IKEA Book

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

Translating Contractor to English

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

"What part of oil lamp next to double squiggle over ox don't you understand?"

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"The Company has drawn a line under me and moved on."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

Dr. Harper had a special eye exam chart made for hieroglyphics professor patient.

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

Maze of legalities.

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

'We need to ask Blah! The PSB to get the PCT to Blah! Put another GPWSI in the MSK Black! Blah!'

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment... so it kind of evens out."

"Senior staff may have to be prepared to be flexible."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Computer Speak: 'Beware!...There is no such thing as a 'free launch'.'

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"It seems to be a grant application!"

"This letter is brief, clear and concise, do it again!"

"Blah blah-blah, duh blah diddily uumph...Read that back to me please, Stephanie."

With the aid of a technical dictionary Colin was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.