Legal Dispute Gifts

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'I hate it when they agree to disagree.'

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

"You know the 'they' you keep blaming for your business problems? Their attorneys are here."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"Another slander suit!"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'He started it!'

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

Justice

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"