Legal Dispute Gifts

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'I hate it when they agree to disagree.'

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

"You know the 'they' you keep blaming for your business problems? Their attorneys are here."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"Another slander suit!"

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'He started it!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Justice

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'