Financial Dispute Gifts

"Honey, I just spent all our real money buying pretend-money." "Siri, search divorce lawyers in my area."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'Wait a minute....!

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"I'M your one call from County Lockup? Ohhhh Lenny."

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

"It's a bicycle. My dad lost our Christmas club money in Atlantic City so I won't get the rest of it until my birthday."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

'Read an investment book that changed my life...please help.'

In case of insolvency break glass.

'Didn't listen to my investor's advice.'

'You never give up, do you?'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."