Legal Disputes Gifts

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'He started it!'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Justice

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

Keystone XL

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"