Legal Battles Gifts

"This firm has a long history of bringing gravitas to frivolous lawsuits."

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'

'You won't be able to afford a top lawyer like me for very long. But, maybe just long enough to give your wife one heck of a scare.'

'Any chance of us winning?' - 'I'm determined to fight this case down to your last penny.'

After losing cancer lawsuit, Bayer turns Monsanto into an arms factory.

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Wal-Mart Ruling

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

India Decriminalizes Homosexuality

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Another slander suit!"

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'He started it!'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."