Legal Challenges Gifts

'Now comes the hard part. . . who gets which facebook friends. . .'

Trial by Media

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Sue The Bastards

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'He started it!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."