Legal Arguments Gifts

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'Let's go and chase some cats while our lawyers bite each other!'

'He started it!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"Lets watch a martial arts movie."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

Under What Circumstances Would You Change Your Mind?

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

Lawyers - Man challenging a barrister

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

"I'm going to be a lawyer so I'll be arguing both sides."

The Uber Wedding Planner: 'Ok, we're almost there...we just need a clarification on the whether the 'till death do us part' clause is meant literally or figuratively.'

'Safe!'

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"I hate arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about."

'I've done some of my best work pro bono ... darn it?'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

'We are no longer called criminals! We're called 'Legally Disadvantaged'.'

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

'I think you are over-reacting Mr. Brown. You were charged a mandatory basic parking fine. I don't think we need to talk about taking your case to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg.'

"We're TV pundits debating the issues."