Legal Battle Gifts

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"Our religious friends are praying, our atheist friends are sending good thoughts, and our lawyer friends are figuring out who to sue."

"By the way, how's that lawsuit against the home insurance company going?"

"Please go easy on my client. He's suffered enough with all the internet shaming."

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

India Decriminalizes Homosexuality

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Another slander suit!"

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'He started it!'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

'I'm recusing myself from this case.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"Your honor, my client is a very respectable blood-sucking pest."

'I sentence you to nine consecutive life terms.'

'My client, Skippy, is suing for a twenty-ounce sirloin, medium-rare.'

"No it's not. That's his defense lawyer."

'But you told me to try and look innocent.'

"Your Honor, Mr. Jones is a waiter and claims he thought the $75,000 in stolen bank funds were left for a tip."