Legal Complexities Explorer Gifts

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

US v.s. Tech Giants

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

"Overruled."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Keystone XL

"No offence Jon, but..."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Lawyers - Man challenging a barrister

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

"I'm Mr. Trump's attorney and this is my attorney. Once his attorney arrives, we can begin."

'The new regulations arrived earlier today.'

"Hi guys. I'm Lawyer man, and my power is of attorney."

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

With Jury Duty for All

"Bugger, some whistleblower has blabbed about how much we spent to stop whistleblowers blabbing about..."

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

"I'M your one call from County Lockup? Ohhhh Lenny."

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

'Your honor, before we get into the issue of black and white, I'd like permission to slip into my grey suit.'

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'