Legal Loophole Explorer Gifts

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

"No offence Jon, but..."

"Burger King bought a Canadian donut chain and relocated its headquarters to Canada to skip U.S. taxes."

'My lawyer says he's pretty sure this is police entrapment.'

Woman in the Loophole Department with desk organisers labelled 'Legal' and 'Quasi Legal'.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Changing one's name is only allowed for valid reasons.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"I'm looking for loopholes."

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

"Hi guys. I'm Lawyer man, and my power is of attorney."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

With Jury Duty for All

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

"It's what we agreed. I'd do the tax avoidance you'd do the tax evasion."

'Wait a minute! Our balance sheet is completely fictious, our profit is based on faked numbers and our register of companies entry is pure nonsense? In that case, they can't sue us for tax evasion because we don't exist!'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

'Good thing your car was stationary when it hit me.'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" "I can't respond to a hypothetical question."

'Your honor, before we get into the issue of black and white, I'd like permission to slip into my grey suit.'

'Three years? But that's aaaaaaaaaages.'

"You get 12 sick days, 4 personal days and 2 'wardrobe malfunctions'."

'Nobody said anything about a bagpipe ban.'

'We have special circumstances here Your Honor...Mr. Juttle committed the crime so he could get out of jury duty.'

IRS Auditing, 10 loopholes or less.

"You can be your own attorney, but no, you cannot be your own judge."

"Is there some way we can monetise our non-profit status?"

'So many loopholes, so little time.'