Legal Lingo Explorers Gifts

"I think I understand the mumbo, but can we go over the jumbo one more time?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

A Semicolon.

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

"For today's lesson, you're going to teach me about pronouns."

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

'What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you're dead.'

'K7K industries (an alleged monopoly case under appeal)

"It's eagle before snake except after feather."

"It's just force of habit. When I say 'cavemen' I of course mean 'cavepersons'."

'And is this young lady your fiasco, Mr. Jones?'

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."