Legal Jargon Enthusiast Gifts

Can you do another draft of this? There's still a couple of sentences people might understand

'Send this back to the legal department. I think they could make it much more complicated than this...'

'That's a new word legal came up with. They're still working on a definition for it.'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Now promise not to laugh when I read you the fine print in the policy."

'I didn't do my homework because my attorney advised me never to put anything in writing.'

'There's a simple explanation for this, but our friends in Legal can make it incomprehensibly complicated.'

'Quid pro quo? It means the f*** is. we f*** them.'

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

'This paperwork for a sing case. Why ever do they call it a 'brief'?'

Ramon was truly a polished performer...walking backwards up a spiral staircase, blindfolded and totally unassisted, while comparing private health insurance packages!"

Lawyer to fellow lawyer: 'Congratulations on your precedent-setting mumbo jumbo!'

"That'll be two sugars, then?"

'I think you're supposed to be the Executor of Estate.'

We don't have a 'reasonable doubt' rule up here!

'Judge McWit, this is Margaret, party of the first part, heretofore to be known as Maggie.'

"Legal supplies? That would be aisle nine, article six, subsection G."

Law Latin should be avoided

'So far, everything you say is HEARSAY.'

Before I give you the judge's decision on your appeal, I don't believe you've met our grief councilor.

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

I protest the fact that the district attorney is speaking in a foreign language I can't understand, your honor. A foreign language? Legalese.

Are you hoping to impugn the witness's bona fides? Um, depending on what that means … very possibly!

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"Right so that's agreed, we can say 'Happy Festive Season' as long as we add the caveat that we are in no way liable for any lack of 'happiness' or a surfeit of 'misery'!"

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

Childhood can be tough when your dad is a lawyer...